Weeks Later

So, updated blog. I haven’t written for a couple of weeks. Honestly I haven’t been listening to Dr Paul or reading his book. I did myself a mischief and started reading Twilight so I am now fully engrossed in that. Plus I don’t really seem to have had much time for Paul. Eek! I need to start again. I did weight myself though and I’ve lost 4lbs. I call these phantom pounds though, like a phantom pregnancy. They appear and a couple of days later there gone. I’m one of the weirdest people with weight, I can actually gain 4lbs a day. So usually I don’t count anything less than 5lbs as weight loss. I’d totally lost my Dr Paul mojo. I’m defiantly going to at least start listening to the CD again. I did however conquer the gym this weekend. Twice in two days and I actually enjoyed it. So I’m going again tonight, providing I don’t talk myself out of it on the way home. I have a tendency to do this. A little voice in my head telling me all the good reasons for not going to the gym i.e. I can put my clothes away that have been stacked on my drawers for 2 months, I can get all my washing from the weekend done, I’ll have my tea wait a hour and then go swim…etc etc etc. You get the picture. Non of this actually happens and I end up napping for an hour then dragging myself off to bed at 10pm. Before Christmas I have a very set routine, gym at 5.30pm, swim at 7pm, shower, dinner, then bed by 10.30pm latest. It sounds very old and sad, but I was quite happy in my routine. If someone asked me to go out through the week, I would spend all day re-organising my evening so I could at least fit an hour in at the gym. The gym doesn’t bother me like it used to though. I’m not sure if this is a bad thing or a good thing though, I’m still trying to work it out.
So all in all a pretty uneventful two weeks, I ate chocolate, McDonalds and lots of carbs. I didn’t eat slowly or consciously think about every mouthful, but even with this I haven’t put any weight on. I’m now starting to think if this is me, if this is my ideal weight that’s why I’m not losing any or putting any on…that lasted all of 5 seconds when I looked at my arse in the mirror, god damn fat stupid piece of meat hanging to my back!!
So this week will involve lots of gyming, swimming and eating slowly. Fingers crossed for the next weigh in.

DAY FIVE & SIX

I thought I’d write the next two days together, I don’t want to bore everyone with continual examining of my food habits. Friday and Saturday are the weekend days in Dubai so it makes sense. Friday is the Muslim’s El-Gumah (Religious) day which incidentally doesn’t co-inside with Christians Sabbath Day or ‘Sunday, day of rest’. Muslims believe God needs no rest day. Friday is a day for public worship. Anyway after that little RE lesson back to my eating. Woke up at 9 and ate a bowl of Rice Krispies, not slowly but not particularly quickly either. Still no gym visit though. I been having a continuous dream though where I have huge purple stretch marks or my legs, I looked this up and it apparently means ‘I am over-extending myself to others and not paying enough attention to myself’, I think it’s because I haven’t been shopping since May. We didn’t have any lunch – we ate breakfast quite late and I’d been guzzling water all day so I really wasn’t hungry. I haven’t read the book either since Thursday. I don’t feel like I have enough time, seriously this Sex and the City box set is taking over my life, thank god I’ve finished it...and the film. More time for Paul. We had fish and chips for tea – yes FISH AND CHIPS in Dubai. We’ve found a brilliant little place in the Marina and they actually taste like English Fish & Chips with smelly curry sauce and everything. The kind of curry sauce that’s still coming out of your pores 3 days later. I Love it. BUT!! A miracle has happened, no chocolate. Not one small little piece of chocolate. The first time all week. I feel as though the first few novelty days of the book have worn off. Really the ‘novelty’ should last more than 5 days. I’m, definitely going to press on and next week, I’m even going to try the gym.
Saturday morning was the same as Friday, Rice Krispies about 11am. My friend was coming over from International Shit-Hole. I call it this because it stinks...of poo. Whenever I drive there I regularly find myself chewing my way through someone else’s arse.honestly its that bad. It would be quite a nice area if it wasn’t next to a sewage plant. We were molesting the pool so I though I’d get a few length in, no such luck. We sat talking for about 4 hours. It’s surprising how tiring doing nothing is. And I didn’t get my afternoon nap. Oops forgot to mention that from yesterday, I had a 3 hour nap. I love my afternoon naps. Sometimes I only have an hour, sometime I have 4. I don’t know how I go all day at work without a nap, god I’m sounding old now! The other half had to visit the bank in Mall Of Emirates which used to be the largest Mall in the Middle East till it was pipped to the post by the Dubai Mall. Almightily pipped, the Dubai Mall has over 1000 shops in it. I’ve visited it, it’s a shopper’s heaven and probably a sane mans hell and it’s huge. People actually visit there for their early morning exercise when it’s too hot to exercise outside; I think the only think I’d be exercising is my purse – up and down Fashion Avenue. Back to the Mall of Emirates. We decided to eat at TGI Fridays. TGI Fridays pop up everywhere, I once had there ribs and my advice – never try them. They’re made of gristle and fat...gross. I ordered the Mushroom Chicken with Mushrooms. I like mushroom, I can’t understand those weirdo’s that don’t and they don’t taste like rubber or have a funny texture. There yummy and are as versatile as potatoes. The chicken came though and it was disgusting – like a large lump or rubber with some soggy breading on it. I had about 3 bites and it made me want to vomit. I don’t think i’m going to eat at TGI’s again – fucking ribs are fat, chicken’s like rubber. I knew I should’ve gone for a steak. My friend asked me if it was Pauls work though. I never even thought of this. It can’t be though, we did have chicken wings before so maybe they filled me up, or maybe the chicken was just shit. The next bit embarrassed me. A lot of British people tend not to complain in restaurant. I’m not sure if it’s the stiff upper lip thing. I’ve never complained to a waiter or waitress. I did once asked to be moved because the air conditioning in a pub was freezing and the waitress looked at me like I’d killed her gran, I daren’t eat anything then, clearly sure she was going in the back to spit in my burger. My friend is South African and apparently they complain so when the waitress came over – complain she did. I didn’t think anything was going to be said ha-ha I was mortified. I couldn’t not say anything now, to be fair the waitress was really nice and asked if I would like another menu to choose something else. I didn’t since the chicken had made me feel incredibly queasy, and I could hear Paul in my ‘sub-conscious’ telling me I was full so stop eating. So she was going to take the meal off the bill. Amazing! Did this always happen? I think it might’ve open the flood gates now though to a point where I might even complain again. Will it work if I eat my meal then tell them it tastes like shit but I was forced to eat it since I’ve haven’t eaten since breakfast and I’m so ravenous. Maybe not. Anyway, dinner over, vomit feeling still present time to make our way home so I could hug the toilet. Hugging the toilet and no alcohol to provide a decent excuse. And more progress.....erm I was going to write a day with no chocolate but I just remembered I had a Twix. The joys of selective eating memory J

DAY FOUR

Today was totally shot, after watching football the night before and not getting to bed till around one, I was completely knackered and everyone knows when you’re tired you tend to eat more. I ate a family size bag of crisps for breakfast, I did eat them slow but does it count? Family size...for breakfast. And I weighed myself again. God, why can’t I keep away from the scales? When I lived in the UK I had a obsession with the scales, I would weigh myself everyday, having done it a couple of times in Dubai I know I vary by 2-4kg a day (I’ve also gone metric since I moved to Dubai). Two Kg is about 4.4 lbs, I wake up in the morning, weigh and by the end of the day I’ve put on 4.4lbs. I’ve been told I move around a lot in my sleep (as well as sleep-talking in a cockney accent), so maybe I burn those pounds off in my sleep. Yep, I’m dreaming again.
So back to the day. I’d already pre-approved a Nando’s yesterday but when it came I wasn’t hungry, obviously since I’d scarfed down a family size packet of crisps. I ate my Chicken Pita and left my rice till later. I ate it at 4pm, again another turn in events because before I would’ve forced it all down usually. Dinner was chicken nuggets and chips with gravy it was beautiful but tiredness kicked in again so we ordered a pizza later. Total greedy twats, i don’t even think we were hungry but certainly just wanted to taste the pizza, again Paul is not working hard enough, this shouldn’t happen. I never used to eat all this shit before but I’ve trying to save money and healthy food is so expensive. Actually I’ve lost my way with healthy eating and the gym, I really need some motivation. This weekend I’ll be rushing my way through the tapping techniques to get to the motivating gym talk. I listened to Paul’s CD that night and in it he says when you ‘wake-up’ you won’t remember anything I’ve said and it’s true. I couldn’t remember a thing. It’s the weekend tomorrow though so I’m going to make an effort and get my lazy arse to the gym or at least the pool.

DAY THREE

I come round in the morning as any other normal, what’s going on here? Where’s my pound loss, Where’s my new confidence, and where’s the slimmer me!! So it is day 3, maybe I should start to understand this isn’t going to happen over-night. It’s going to take a lot of hard work. Off I trot to work, water in hand ready for another day of slow eating and hunger scales. I bought some crunchy nut cornflakes last night though and I’ve been craving them all night. Damn, I need to get through this book quicker - There’s a chapter in the book that gives you some tapping techniques to get over cravings, I am totally convinced this won’t work especially when I crave chocolate, because when I crave chocolate it takes over right up until the point my mouth actually waters a little thinking about biting into that milky, gooey chocolate Twix Stick..Hang on – is this me craving? Anyway since I haven’t got to that chapter I’m none the wiser. I come in and manage to wait half an hour before I start on the crunchy nut cornflakes. I bite into the first mouthful, chewing slowly and consciously like my life depended on the taste of this bite. It happens for another 4 then I shovel the rest of my bowl in. Eating slowly is going to be such a chore for me. I could do with a small parrot on my shoulder that repeatedly tells me to eat slower. After the cornflakes that’s it, no mid morning snack – I think this could be because I’m busy but hey ho it all counts. Dinner is a Curry Pot Noodle – not healthy but Paul has said I can eat what we want. I’m eating and drinking water at the same time then my colleague tells me to slow down...haha, jesus I didn’t even realise I was eating that fast – things are more serious than they seem. Anyway Lunch over with and I left some pot noodle in the bottom and I was still full. It’s now 3pm and not only am I not hungry but Curry Flavoured Pot Noodle stinks...my hands reek of it, I have no legitimate suggestion why the hell my hands stick of curry when I used a fork. Ergh in-fact it’s making me feel a little sick.
I had a bit of a diversion from Paul that night, my friend asked me to Wagamamma’s...oops! To be honest though I wasn’t really that hungry – I didn’t listen to the book though and forced down some Chicken Chilli and Edame Beans – I love both and I left some of both on the plate...impressive but really I wasn’t that hungry. I was wondering if this is all physiological mumbo jumbo that was making me eat less was actually causing my stomach to shrink too! This happens, I did it before. On the starvation diet as I call it which means you eat 1200 Cal’s a day your stomach shrinks a hell of a lot but like any other successful diet I’ve been on the Chinese and Indiana call me back and having a Chinese without a starter, is like having £1000 and spending it on debts instead of a Chanel bag..Well it is for me anyway. I didn’t have any time for Paul that night, England was playing and I promised my beloved I would go and watch it with him. I read a little of the book and there’s a quote for the lovely Glenda who writes ‘since I started the programme I haven’t eaten a bar of chocolate since’ the woman who writes this used to eat 6 bars a day WTF!!!??!?! No chocolate, my relationship with this book is dwindling – imagine a life without chocolate! Scary!

DAY TWO

I wake up fully refreshed and excited to see if I’m thin, obviously not but it’s nice to dream. Funnily enough I do feel different somehow smug because I know this new secret, ready to take on any meal that feels like a fight. I’m keen to get to work and start the day which usually begins with a large bowl of cereal. I once read in a diet book you must eat your breakfast one hour after you wake up for it to kick your metabolism into play. When I got to work though, I wasn’t hungry so I left it and drank water. Then my colleague came in at 9 with muffins, damn it hadn’t worked, I soon forgot all about my hunger and ate one – they were only mini-muffins though. The morning flew by – no mid-morning snack which of course dieters say you must eat for your metabolism. I started to feel peckish, around about a 5 on Dr Pauls hunger list. So I ate lunch. I bought a sandwich from downstairs and chips. Usually I would force all of it down but not today – I still ate the chips pretty fast but I left some! I actually left some chips then I wrapped the last half of my sandwich up for later. Unbelievable. I’m sure this must be Pauls’ work because I have no willpower whatsoever so I couldn’t will-power myself not to eat it. I did however eat it about an hour later but still it’s all new to me. I finished work and when I got home I wasn’t ravenous as usual – about a 5 again. Me and the boyfriend went shopping and dinner I ate 5 chicken nuggets, 4 small chicken wings and 4 small spring rolls – not a meal I hear you say...but I was satisfied so I stopped eating. I re-thought the willpower thing – maybe because it’s the 2nd day it is willpower...no it can’t be. Anyway an hour later I ate a chocolate yogurt so i'll keep guessing. Through the day compared to usual I don’t seem to have eaten that much at all. I settle down and read another chapter of the book. If he’s making me feel like this about food, I can’t wait to read the exercise bit having lost all will to exercise lately. This says a lot because I used to do 2 hours a night 4 days a week. 11pm comes – time for bed with Paul, I again listen to his voice my images of a slimmer me getting more and more vivid. Then…sleep.

DAY ONE

I haven’t really got round to starting this book, unfortunately I brought back my Sex and the City box set from UK and have spent the past 3 days watching it – Morning and Night. So I think today is the day, after reading about the four rules on the internet and numerous reviews I’m interested to finally begin.
After spending the best part of 5 years obsessing about food, (yes just because I’m not bulimic or anorexic it doesn’t mean I don’t obsess about food) I was encouraged this would help me change for the better. Plus what Paul (I call him Paul because after all the research I’ve done I feel I know him) said seemed to make sense. But how was I going to change rituals and eating habits I’ve had my whole life. For starters I’m a fully bonifide member of the clean plate club and on most occasions refuse to leave the table (or chair) before all my food is gone for guilt over that immortal saying my parents and dinner ladies drilled into me when I was younger ‘’there’s starving children in Africa’’ like by me been a complete fat bastard is going to help them get food! I’m an emotional eater – sad, happy, tired, and bored - any emotion and I’m gobbling for the first timeout bar. I eat far too fast – finishing my plate and starting on my boyfriends before he’s cut through his first slice of meat. All the things thin people aren’t (apparently). Lastly I’m a serial dieter – I’ve tried everything Atkins, South Beach, Fat Flush, No Carbs after 5pm, 6 small meals a day, no carbs whatsoever, calorie counting, starvation, I once made two apples last a whole day - you get the picture. The only thing I haven’t tried is Weight Watchers and Slimming World – mainly because I think there robbing bastards and you can get all the points books and calculators from e-bay without paying through the nose for ‘weekly weigh-ins’. Another thing I despise – ‘weekly weigh-ins’. You see I weigh more than normal women, I have no idea why. I know I’m not overweight but really how embarrassing. I was once looking at the stats of football players and they weighed less than me. So weigh-ins are out too, I don’t need some Marjorie Dawes telling my I’ve put 3lbs on.

So back to the book, the four golden rules are –
Eat only when you are hungry,
Eat what you want not what you think you should (I was hooked from there on),
Eat consciously and with every mouthful,
When you are full stop.

Ok for me rule one: Well that’s fine, there are a few times a day when I’m not hungry…but even when I’m not hungry I still crave crisps and chocolate, how will this work.
Rule two – Nothing to say about this – we all want to eat what we what and stay thin.
Rule Three – Now this is where things get difficult. I don’t eat consciously and I don’t enjoy every mouthful. Well not entirely true, I do enjoy each mouthful I just tend to have more than one mouthful in at a time. Additionally I’m speed eater. Like a rabid dog protecting her only meal for the day, sounds a bit dramatic but it’s true. Ask anyone who’s seen me eat!
Rule Four – I never ever stop eating when I’m full because I eat so quickly my mind isn’t quick enough to give the right signals to my body. Plus I’m a member of the clean plate club.

Golden Rules noted I’m ready to start reading the book. Weirdly enough even after the first few pages I feel differently, like a new person. Is this Paul hypnotising me from the pages of his book, dare I keep reading in case I go into a trance like state for the rest of my slimming process. Again, I’m sounding dramatic but that’s me and you’ll get used to it. So I carry on reading, I’m only planning on finishing one chapter tonight which is great since I get a little tired. So I head off to bed – with Paul of course. I’ve downloading his CD onto my I-pod. The first night I’m going to listen to it. I’m scared, what if I turn into a zombie or even worse I can’t wake up. Although Paul does state you’re not about to be hypnotised its NLP which taps into your subconscious self and reprogram’s your brain, sounds like Hocus Pocus to me. Anyway I’m relaxed in bed Pauls soothing words roll into each ear – and WOW it is really relaxing – he asks to start counting back from 300, I get to 250 before I start living my life but with a slimmer me. Before I know it I’m asleep which is fine because Paul is still talking to my subconscious self. I wake up the next morning and can’t remember anything he said, let’s hope my subconscious can or this will be useless.