Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I wake up fully refreshed and excited to see if I’m thin, obviously not but it’s nice to dream. Funnily enough I do feel different somehow smug because I know this new secret, ready to take on any meal that feels like a fight. I’m keen to get to work and start the day which usually begins with a large bowl of cereal. I once read in a diet book you must eat your breakfast one hour after you wake up for it to kick your metabolism into play. When I got to work though, I wasn’t hungry so I left it and drank water. Then my colleague came in at 9 with muffins, damn it hadn’t worked, I soon forgot all about my hunger and ate one – they were only mini-muffins though. The morning flew by – no mid-morning snack which of course dieters say you must eat for your metabolism. I started to feel peckish, around about a 5 on Dr Pauls hunger list. So I ate lunch. I bought a sandwich from downstairs and chips. Usually I would force all of it down but not today – I still ate the chips pretty fast but I left some! I actually left some chips then I wrapped the last half of my sandwich up for later. Unbelievable. I’m sure this must be Pauls’ work because I have no willpower whatsoever so I couldn’t will-power myself not to eat it. I did however eat it about an hour later but still it’s all new to me. I finished work and when I got home I wasn’t ravenous as usual – about a 5 again. Me and the boyfriend went shopping and dinner I ate 5 chicken nuggets, 4 small chicken wings and 4 small spring rolls – not a meal I hear you say...but I was satisfied so I stopped eating. I re-thought the willpower thing – maybe because it’s the 2nd day it is willpower...no it can’t be. Anyway an hour later I ate a chocolate yogurt so i'll keep guessing. Through the day compared to usual I don’t seem to have eaten that much at all. I settle down and read another chapter of the book. If he’s making me feel like this about food, I can’t wait to read the exercise bit having lost all will to exercise lately. This says a lot because I used to do 2 hours a night 4 days a week. 11pm comes – time for bed with Paul, I again listen to his voice my images of a slimmer me getting more and more vivid. Then…sleep.

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